There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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