Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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