oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I want a musical about memes.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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