anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
