I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
