Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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