I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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