he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
