Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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