I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
