We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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