I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
