Cold hands, warm shart.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My vagina is very pro this idea
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
