could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize