After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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