wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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