I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
