false alarm. still invincible.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
