Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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