doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You ruined the universe
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
