you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
