I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
