i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
His nipple licking is glorious
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