if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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