She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize