I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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