I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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