I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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