I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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