Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
