I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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