the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
