singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
