only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
This toilet bowl is my home.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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