is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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