We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
