I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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