I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
