Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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