i wish my penis had a tongue
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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