i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Soap is not a condiment
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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