College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
