As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
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Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
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BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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