Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize