I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
