How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
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duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
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Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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