She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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