I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
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His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
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do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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