It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
