coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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