I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
