i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
