All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
