making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
