I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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