Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
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