singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
