I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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