You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize