my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
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To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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