Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
