she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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