u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
