yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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