Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
