I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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