We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
