You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
